I've journeyed long; I have overcome many obstacles and carry the burden of others I can't let go of. I have endured many trials, lost my faith, picked up my pieces and looked to the heavens. At times anxiously wanting to take control, I walk by faith knowing that acceptance is where I find peace.
This Lenten season finds me reflecting on all of my story: My past, my present and my future. I'm defined by my past but I reside in the future, in planning, in looking forward to, in anticipating. The present is where I need to be, but it's uncomfortable. I avoid it by filling my calendar with dates and my space with noise. I made a Lenten resolution to be more present and to quiet the noise in my head. Then I discovered that the noise has a place, a purpose. In its absence I am face to face with the fears, the reality, the truth that I've been avoiding.
Some things are best left undone. But not fears. They need to be faced, confronted and overcome. The fear of letting go is a big one for me. It exposes my vulnerability and the reality that I have no control. I am a blind man guided by a higher power and I must learn to trust. It's both liberating and frightening. I don't have to be in control, I just need to be present and trust. Sounds simple enough.
