20 years

This Summer marks the 20th anniversary of my running journey. I will spare you the math but I have easily covered over 20,000 miles of terrain and I'm not stopping anytime soon.

Here is how it all began...

I was an active child, always riding my bike, playing with the street kids and involving myself in many informal games of volleyball, basketball, tag, or whatever else was the hype du jour. I also enjoyed dancing and jumping rope. But running just to run? Not so much. Boring? Well, lets just say that my streets weren't exactly running friendly (small sidewalks and streets covered with rocks). We did plenty of running, we just didn't call it that. My parents always modeled active lifestyles and we all seemed to enjoy the physical and social aspects of exercise.

The Summer before my senior year in high school I was struggling with body image. Hormones and mom's cooking played a double on my weight and though I wasn't really overweight, I didn't feel good about myself. I tried unsuccessfully to cut my calories but I ended up eating too much of what I now know where the wrong foods: low fat, high carb foods and tons of fruit. There was also a lot going on in the home realm: Transitions, school and work demands, sister marrying, parents separating, etc. I have always loved food but I did a fair amount of comfort eating. Food became a control factor and my weight the scapegoat to my home problems.

One hot Summer morning my mom walked into our small and steaming hot living quarters and told me that I should go for a run. I laughed. I was already sweating, what more did she want? But she told me that a friend of mine (Maria) was at the school track every morning running laps. I should join her, she suggested. I didn't immediately but eventually I did. We ran laps together and developed a very close relationship. I continued to run throughout the Summer and by Fall I joined the cross country team. I loved running. Well, I loved the feeling after a good run but I didn't exactly enjoy running. Running has a long enjoyment curve. Side stabbing pain and difficulty breathing are just two of the many ills of the sport. I stuck with it. I was the worst runner in the team, a very humbling experience, but I was part of the team.

Running helped me cope with the many pressures of school and home life. I ran in 100 degree weather, in the rain, I passed out twice while running, I came in last, almost always, but it was mine and I didn't do it for anyone. I joined track and field in the Spring almost by default because everyone in the CC team did. It was tough. I wasn't fast but I endured so I ran the 800, mile and 2 miles. By this time I had started to enjoy running. The body ailments were getting better, I had dropped weight which helped my speed, and my friends were very encouraging. I loved the experience. I even ran on weekends by myself. I discovered my determination and my strength through running. I gained confidence. I wasn't about to stop.

The following 5 years were dark, very dark. After graduation I fell into a serious clinical depression that almost took my life. I only survived because I knew that my mom and sister depended on me. I worked a lot, slept little and coped with my mysery by engaging in destructive binge eating behaviors. I don't want to share details. It still hurts. I didn't run much during these years. Arrhythmia, anemia, and low blood pressure kept me away from the sport. I rode my bike a lot because it was my only method of transportation between jobs (I had 3 at the time). But I didn't feel or look healthy. Faith and prayers kept me going.

The turn of the century brought many changes. I got fired from one of my jobs and was forced to find a different type of employment. I got a car and a desk job and I was suddenly faced with a lot of time in my hands (the desk job payed more than my other 3 gigs together). I began running again. I ran in my lunch break, after work, on weekends, and whenever else I could. It was my escape. Life at home was still challenging so a run was always the perfect excuse to escape. I also began frequenting night clubs, just to dance. A friend of mine and I partnered up (no romantic attachment) and we opened and closed the dance floor every single time. Neither of us drank so it was cheap to go. Often we got in for free as well. Running and dancing helped me jump start my recovery.

On New Years Eve of 2001 I met Dave while visiting in San Francisco. I was a different person by then, confident, healthy, and independent. He fell in love with all of that, and I fell in love with him too. We were married a year later. I moved to the Bay Area after our wedding and got another desk job within weeks of moving. I continued to run during lunch breaks, after work or whenever I could. Dave and I also enjoyed hiking together and we did it regularly. We have proudly conquered the tallest peaks in the contiguous US. Running gave me the base conditioning for our long hikes.

In 2008 Dave and I ran the SF marathon together, his idea. We trained in 4 months and the non-runner husband of mine out ran me on race day. He hung his shoes after that event but I continued to run. I ran through both my pregnancies, completed a half marathon at 5 months pregnant and a full marathon at 8 months post partum. A month ago I ran my first long trail run, a 30k and finished 2nd in my age division. I'm training to improve my speed so I can someday qualify for Boston. Running is where I find myself, where I draw my confidence, and where I gain valuable life lessons. I hope to pass this gift onto my children.

Happy 20 years!




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My heritage

I was invited to a birthday celebration yesterday for a dear Friend who is also Mexican. I haven't had so much fun in a while. It made me realize how much I miss my family and our own celebrations. This party made me feel right at home and for that I am very thankful. I was surrounded by women who discussed child rearing quirks in a Mexican family; women who weren't afraid to be loud and boisterous after a few drinks; strong women with opinions and attitudes. And no one was judging. I haven't had this feeling in a long while and it was awesome!

Some of the best memories I have of family are of being all together, singing, playing guitars, dancing, laughing, and enjoying each others company. This could go on until the late hours of the night and no one seemed to mind. Food was always abundant and tequila (or wine for me) helped everyone lose their inhibitions so even the non dancers danced, the not talkative gave great speeches and the stoic showed a bit of emotion. That's what I call a good party. No regrets. Ever.

I don't get to enjoy these family gatherings very often. In fact, our family rarely gets together anymore, which is sad, but such is the course of life. So I yearn for time with them again, to be together, to enjoy their presence, to learn from them, to be annoyed by their all too familiar characteristics. I hope that my children grow to love this part of their heritage, but I fear that we are much detached from it so they will never appreciate it the way I do. But I am motivated to expose them whenever possible so that they can decide for themselves. What's not to love about being Mexican :)


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The life of a mama

Before I had children I didn't know.. (You may fill in your own blanks)

Anything about myself
I still don't (know anything I mean)
I could have so much and so little patience
I had so much pent up anger
How to enjoy life
And hate it at times
How much emotions scare me
How emotional I can be
How much I value silence
How much I love my children's laughter
That I hate drawn out exits
That my children have their own timeline
That I need lots of personal space
That I love cuddling
That my confidence would soar
That guilt would overshadow it
That my life could be so full
And yet so lonely
That I could love so much
And gain so much
If I could just relax and enjoy the ride...







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2014 Cinderella Trail Run (Mothers Day)

Race recap: Read bullets for summary, a more descriptive translation follows

Favorite things about this race (in order of priority):

1. Location--30 minute drive from my house
2. Course! The course travels through beautiful Joaquin Miller Park to Redwood Regional Park with spectacular views of the Oakland Hills and Bay Area along the way.
3. Cost--$50 for a 30k, cheapest race I've done so far and best served. Hello hamburgers and beer at the finish!
4. Challenge--Trail running is NOT the same as road running and this was my first longish trail run.
5. Date--Perfect excuse for being gone for the first part of the day. Great weather!

Things I would have done differently:

1. Different shoes--I decided to wear my oldest and most worn out running shoes...bad idea! I knew after eating dirt on the first downhill that I was ill-fitted for this run. Trail running shoes are a must!

2. Less ambitious goals--being my first long trail run I should have signed up for the half marathon not the 30k.

3. More downhill training, on trails, not roads--think running uphill is hard? Try running downhill on a trail and see how fast your face lands on the gravel.

Ok, so now for the interested I'm going to provide the most detailed description I can. My brain is still foggy so I may miss a few things but I will do my best.

The race started at 8am sharp. Check in was a breeze, there were plenty of volunteers and a small crowd (a nice plus of trail races, they can be small).

We tackled our first set of hills and my legs thanked me for having done hilI training. I started passing a few runners, some men, and I was able to actually run the uphills (in trail running many runners walk the uphills). By mile 4 I hit my first major downhill and I ate dirt. Yes sir I did. I got up gracefully and decided I was going to walk the downhills, very carefully, if I wanted to finish this race alive. You see, I chose the wrong shoes because I didn't want to ruin my new pair in the mud. Wrong! I should have chosen safety over vanity...oh well.

I remembered from the map that mile 8 was the beginning of the steepest hill so at around mile 7 I ate/drank/swallowed my first gel. Good choice! Check out that hill...woo hoo!





It was a killer! And I ran most of it, slowly. During this stretch I "teamed up" with a group of runners who would zoom by me on the down hills, and then I would catch up on the uphills. Yes it was a huge boost of confidence.

By about mile 12 and with just a little over a mile to go I contemplated stopping at the half marathon mark. It was way too tempting and I dwelled on this thought for a while, but I didn't. I passed the "finish" line and I kept going for the rest of my 5 miles. For a moment I thought I was lost. No runners in sight so I retraced my steps about 500 yards until I met up with some ultra marathoners (crazy people!) who assured me I was on the right path. So I added about a mile to my course, oh well.

The last 5 miles weren't too bad. My right knee was angry but my stamina strong. My legs were ultra wobbly so I slowed down the pace (better shoes would have been nice here!). 2.5 miles to go and I thought: Lucia, you got this. Enjoy the rest. And I did. I finished in 3 hours and 52 minutes, and I came in second for my age category. It was a small race so no huge bragging points here but I felt great!

Last thoughts:

I'm hooked on trail running
Trail races are "chilled." They are mostly on an honor system. There is plenty of opportunity to cheat on your distance, but you only cheat yourself.
I like running with people but I also enjoy running alone--a lot! :)
Need to train on trails. Even though I've done some hill training, my stride is conditioned for roads. I've learned to "glide" when I run and this is it good for trail running.
I like points to point races. There is psychological defeat when I have to repeat the same course twice.
No, I didn't have a hamburger, or a beer, but it was nice that they were available.

See you next year!

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Spring cleaning of the soul

It's Holy Week and I have the need to download some stuff that's been weighing heavily on my chest. This Lent has been a bit of a roller coaster in many ways. I can only compare it to a detox. Though I've never done one myself, I hear of people saying that it really gets worse before it gets better, the body that is. You undergo a period of severe flu like symptoms that lasts for weeks. You can barely get out of bed and the mere sight of light peeking through the window blinds you. Your body feels inflamed and everything takes so much effort to do. You cant eat anything and you feel bloated. All.the.time. Sounds fun? No, not ever. My question: Why?

When a person undergoes a detox, toxins that were "dormant" or happily inhabiting cell walls or fatty tissues are suddenly woken up and flushed through the blood stream or digestive system. Think about a sudden downpour of acid rain to your insides. Nice huh? Sometimes it is almost better to let those suckers be, especially the heavy ones (mercury, lead, cadmium, etc). But rest assured, not really, that a tiny trigger could fire them up and turn them into say, cancer? That's right! There is the incentive.

What's an individual to do? Well, I'm not a doctor or trained holistic guru but my instinct tells me that toxins don't belong in our bodies. Period. The fact that we are exposed to hundreds of chemicals on a daily basis (thousands if you are a woman) is scary enough, but we mustn't be discouraged. A slow drip can cut trough stone. Yes, little changes matter and anything we can do to rid ourselves of what doesn't belong is in order. I do a daily maintenance of the body by choosing natural products and pesticide free foods. Also by consuming natural chelators that help my body get rid of toxins. It's enough that I don't notice any effects but I know that in the long run my body will thank me.

So how does this relate to Lent? Well...up until a few months ago I would have described my faith as lukewarm at best. And this is something that manifested itself in the direction my life was taking, or not taking at all. I lived in a state of chronic anxiety, preoccupied with many things and not being able to find joy in anything. Depressed too. I decided I was ready for change, and so began my daily maintenance. Baby steps. I began to see progress. My anxiety levels dropped (!?) for the first time in years. I was able to find joy in "being" rather than "doing." Heck I even started to ease into my motherhood role feeling it as the true vocation it is. And then Lent happened. And my detox started...

Bipolar, yes, that would be a good description of how I feel. One moment all is great the next I want to pack my bags and call it a day. If I didn't have faith I would dive deeply into the abyss of depression that lurks all too close, all too often. I get discouraged at times but I never lose faith. Funny how that happens. Somehow I know (maybe its the long distance runner in me) that I will see this to the end and I will be a better person for it. In all the turmoil there is something that remains stronger than ever: my connection with the creator and my ardent need of his presence in my life. So there is proof that this detox is working :)

Happy Easter!


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This week

Yesterday was a whirlwind kind of day. In terms of birthday ideals I'd say it had a low score on the joy scale. I hope it's not representative of birthdays to come for my little peanut. I think we are all looking forward to the end of this week. It's been challenging, emotional, and exhausting. On Sunday we will be celebrating Andreas 2nd birthday so I hope we will all be in better moods then.

I'm not personally big on birthdays, but I get into it if it makes someone else's day. My husband and son love their birthdays. Isaac is already planning his 5th birthday in July and Dave is always secretly checking the bank statement for any surprise gifts. It's fun and exciting, all the planning and anticipation. I get into it and take simple tasks such as baking a cake very seriously. After all, isn't it all about the cake?

Andrea is 2! Yes it is cliche but can you believe it? I don't have a baby anymore. My nursing days will soon be over and I'm starting to miss them. I am embracing newfound independence though I could do without the temper tantrums. The last few weeks have been marked by an unprecedented language and intellectual explosion in this little one. Witnessing such change brings me closer to God our creator.

Today is Valentines Day, not a big deal in this household either. I don't feel like it but I'm going to make some treats for my family. I know they will appreciate them and just maybe bring a smile to my honey who has had the toughest week of all of us. Showing kindness has a double benefits, I too am in need of love. So that's what I will do today.

Happy Valentines Day!






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The workings of God in my life

2013 was for me a year of tilling, preparing my soil for Gods plan in my life. I spent a significant amount of time soul searching, connecting, and seeking spiritual advice. There were moments when I got frustrated and I complained, perhaps a bit too much, but in doing so I gained the confidence of some amazing women I am now blessed to call friends.

2014 will be a seeding year. I will continue to work diligently on my soil giving it the best care possible, and of course filling it with fertile seed. So far I have done very poorly but everyday is a new beginning. Here I stand armed with optimism and well defined tools that will help me achieve that goal.

2013 was largely about finding joy in my life. 2014 will be about living that joy. To this end I will focus on prayer and intention. And I ask that you too, keep me in your prayers.

Thank you!

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