Anxious no more

For a person that's been suffering from anxiety for years this should come as great news right?  Well, it isn't.  Turns out anxiety is for most of us a mask, a cover-up for some deep-rooted unresolved emotions we choose to  bury for fear of losing control of ourselves. If you suffer from anxiety chances are there is some sadness or anger underneath the fear that overwhelms you.  Come to think of it, as much as I disliked being anxious, there are  times when I wish I wasn't experiencing the newly uncovered emotions.  Being anxious was, perhaps easier to deal with.

Anxiety is in my opinion a "good girl" syndrome.  Good girls seek to please, parents mostly, but also society in general.  They don't want to seem overly brash, and of course they don't want to appear out of control, so they hide their real feelings, and then end up with latent anger building up inside which causes them to fear irrationally, a condition known as anxiety.  But it's not always the case of course.  There are times when unfortunate events happen to these good girls that just compound the issue even more.  Good girls don't typically yell back or seek revenge.  Even when fate seems less than favorable they accept it as God's will or destiny's choice.  Good girls try to see the positive in everything, even when deep in their hearts they know they deserve better.

I've been experiencing a lot of sadness the last few weeks.  But that's not all; I've also been feeling very angry.   I know what you may be thinking; I thought the same thing:  It's because I'm pregnant.  No. It's beyond that I'm sure.   I've been having to deal with past issues that I thought were long resolved or forgotten.  Things I thought had no effect on me suddenly came back to bite me.  I've never been an angry person and lately that seems to be my default mood. Perhaps it's a good thing that I'm dealing with this now, but I need all the help I can get.  There are still many unresolved issues in my life that I simply have no control over and I need to be able to accept them and continue to live my life.  At this point I pray that I'm able to do that, for my children.

Can I ask for a prayer?  Thanks.