I'm going to Europe one day, and ride a bicycle through Southern France and Tuscany. I will also live in Japan, or at least visit for an extended period of time and hike Mt. Fuji. Speaking of hiking, I will hike Mt. Kilimanjaro, but not Everest, too cold. I know exactly what the Pampas look like even though I've never been there, but I will, one day soon. I will also see the Amazon and visit the Incas stomping grounds. I must see Colombia, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Venezuela. These are just a few of the places I will see.
I will get a PhD from a top notch university, and I'm qualifying for Boston. My idea of success is being in a position to help many, and I know I will be there, soon. You see, there are no bounds to the possibilities. If I desire it, its open for grabs. Only God can stop me. This has been my attitude ever since I have memory. If there is a prize to be won, a position to be had, or a goal to have achieved, I am as qualified for it as the next person and I will go for it. It helps that I'm not afraid to jump in even though I'm slightly afraid of failure. But failure is subjective, so it is relatively easy for me to overcome.
I'm ambitious yes, maybe a bit oblivious at times, but I posses a few traits that play in my advantage. I'm stubborn, I'm patient (most of the time) and I have endurance. I wasn't born with these traits. I acquired them through a bit of pounding so I am very thankful for them. Nothing in my life has come in my desired time. It comes when it's supposed to, or the way I see it, in Gods time. So as far as I'm concerned, nothing is out of reach. It's empowering but at the same time, humbling. I must wait for the right time, and that is not always easy. I'm looking forward to 2014. Are you?
Cheers to the festivities! May they find you joyful and optimistic.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Friday, December 6, 2013
Introspection: Our need to belong
The last couple of months I've been witnessing a life changing event taking place right outside our front door. Our four year old is slowly being admitted into the big boy clique, something he's long desired and has worked diligently for. Our neighbors are very nice but the age difference is significant between the boys. But my guy refuses to give up. It melts my heart to see him hanging out with the boys. The excitement in his face is enough to light a room, even if he's merely allowed to show his toys. He is more than eager to conform. His need to belong is evident, in more ways than I begin to discover.
The need and the fear to belong are closely intertwined. As much as I bark about not wanting to be classified as a type and not subscribing to isms, deep inside I also yearn to identify with other people. Perhaps I rebel because I've always been right at the perimeter of all my associations so I figured that denying to myself and to others that I wanted in was always better than being rejected. Take for example, as a child I was told I was adopted because I didn't look like the rest of my siblings (out!), I was also outspoken about anything that I deemed unfair, so I wasn't exactly a malleable girl (out!). As life ran its course I was left out of many things I wanted, which I eventually accomplished, but not exactly in the order prescribed, like getting a college degree at 22 rather than at 34 years old. So I found myself surrounded by like minded people but not really belonging. You get the picture...
The feeling of always the bridesmaid and never the bride was always with me. I rejoiced watching people accomplish things I ardently desired but deep inside feeling...left out. In some ways I still feel this way.
Life teaches us important lessons. I have had my fair share. I don't feel sorry for myself, never have. I have used my shortcomings as stepping stones, most of the time any way :) I have let go of my fear to belong and sought the association of people with whom I find common ground. In doing so I've realized that we all fight similar demons. In every group I'm a part of there is someone who doesn't quite fit. This is all a personal perception obviously but it stems out of our deeply held desire to belong. This realization has made me a kinder person, embracing differences and welcoming those who feel like outsiders, because I know what it's like being in the other side of that fence. My permanent address lies on that side but people seem to like when I venture in to the circle. I like it too :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
The need and the fear to belong are closely intertwined. As much as I bark about not wanting to be classified as a type and not subscribing to isms, deep inside I also yearn to identify with other people. Perhaps I rebel because I've always been right at the perimeter of all my associations so I figured that denying to myself and to others that I wanted in was always better than being rejected. Take for example, as a child I was told I was adopted because I didn't look like the rest of my siblings (out!), I was also outspoken about anything that I deemed unfair, so I wasn't exactly a malleable girl (out!). As life ran its course I was left out of many things I wanted, which I eventually accomplished, but not exactly in the order prescribed, like getting a college degree at 22 rather than at 34 years old. So I found myself surrounded by like minded people but not really belonging. You get the picture...
The feeling of always the bridesmaid and never the bride was always with me. I rejoiced watching people accomplish things I ardently desired but deep inside feeling...left out. In some ways I still feel this way.
Life teaches us important lessons. I have had my fair share. I don't feel sorry for myself, never have. I have used my shortcomings as stepping stones, most of the time any way :) I have let go of my fear to belong and sought the association of people with whom I find common ground. In doing so I've realized that we all fight similar demons. In every group I'm a part of there is someone who doesn't quite fit. This is all a personal perception obviously but it stems out of our deeply held desire to belong. This realization has made me a kinder person, embracing differences and welcoming those who feel like outsiders, because I know what it's like being in the other side of that fence. My permanent address lies on that side but people seem to like when I venture in to the circle. I like it too :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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