Addictions and addicts

I've had a few conversations with friends and family about addictions recently. I'm not sure why people are drawn to discuss the subject with me but it helps reinforce my position on it. I am the daughter, sister, cousin, niece, and friend of addicts. I've lived side by side them and grew to love them despite their illness. I've also witnessed many tragedies resulting from the consequences of these addictions. Some so personal I still carry their weight and deal with their repercussions. I can forgive the mistakes of an addict because deep inside I understand their struggles. I am not an addict but I know that it is in my genes to be one, so I keep a close watch on these tendencies.

As a mother, one thing that particularly concerns me is how NOT to raise addicts in light of the genes we pass down to our children. Of course modeling good choices, having family dinners and keeping the communication lines open with our children are key, but what else should we be doing to steer our offspring away from the many temptations they will face in school and other circles?  Legal and illegal substances are so commonplace and freely dispensed that there are equal risks at home as there are on the streets and at the doctor's office.  But aside from illicit substances, there are other addictions we may be passing down to our children without realizing it:  Smart phone, social networking, food, exercise, shopping... the list goes on.  Addictions take many forms and it isn't unusual for one to lead to another.  So I guess the best way we can safeguard our children is by keeping our own addictions in check.

I have come to realize that some personalities are more addiction prone than others. Competitive and perfectionist individuals, for example, are the right candidates for addictions. They use substances to tone down their self imposed rigors and deal with failure. Alcohol is a great social lubricant, thus, a magnet for shy or socially uncomfortable individuals who will often be drawn to it to smooth out their discomfort at social gatherings.  Type A and high energy individuals use barbiturates to relax.  More risky personalities will seek out the thrill of exuberant drugs like cocaine and hallucinogens.  At some point in our lives we have all been exposed to many of these substances and have chosen to engage or not.  I am interested to know how we an teach our children to disengage when given the choice. I'd love to start a dialogue.

Here is a great piece about addictions.  I like this perspective although I agree with some of the comments that we cannot love an addict back to recovery.  But it certainly helps.  Enjoy!

http://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong

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On food ethics

For years I haven't looked at the weekly ads that clog my mailbox week after week; tri- folding pages of overly processed foods that we never consume anyway, why bother. Lately though I'm drawn to the produce displays because despite knowing that nectarines are chronically in the dirty dozen list, 59 cents a pound, for beautifully rounded and firmly fleshed nectarines are getting harder and harder to resist. I find them at the farmers market for $4/pound so we just don't consume them that much.

Cherries are another Summer favorite. I pay up to $10/pound at the farmers market and I see ads running for $.99/pound. I keep reminding myself that I buy more than the fruit, I buy health for our bodies and the environment, not to mention the health of the farm workers. Do you know how many chemicals are applied to these fruits? It varies by the year and the variety, but dozens, hundreds at times. Some chemicals are so poisonous they require face masks and special warnings for their application. But then what? Where does the chemical cocktail go? Some of it is absorbed in the plant and the fruit we consume, but most of it seeps into the soil, runs into our water systems and ends up contaminating bodies of water that people depend upon for survival. Some may even run into the ocean and cause massive fish killings (dead zones in the ocean) amongst other problems. Other chemicals are airborne and cause respiratory problems for those living in nearby communities.

How does this concern us? It doesn't have to, 59 cents a pound is too hard to resist. Go ahead and indulge.




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