Addictions and addicts

I've had a few conversations with friends and family about addictions recently. I'm not sure why people are drawn to discuss the subject with me but it helps reinforce my position on it. I am the daughter, sister, cousin, niece, and friend of addicts. I've lived side by side them and grew to love them despite their illness. I've also witnessed many tragedies resulting from the consequences of these addictions. Some so personal I still carry their weight and deal with their repercussions. I can forgive the mistakes of an addict because deep inside I understand their struggles. I am not an addict but I know that it is in my genes to be one, so I keep a close watch on these tendencies.

As a mother, one thing that particularly concerns me is how NOT to raise addicts in light of the genes we pass down to our children. Of course modeling good choices, having family dinners and keeping the communication lines open with our children are key, but what else should we be doing to steer our offspring away from the many temptations they will face in school and other circles?  Legal and illegal substances are so commonplace and freely dispensed that there are equal risks at home as there are on the streets and at the doctor's office.  But aside from illicit substances, there are other addictions we may be passing down to our children without realizing it:  Smart phone, social networking, food, exercise, shopping... the list goes on.  Addictions take many forms and it isn't unusual for one to lead to another.  So I guess the best way we can safeguard our children is by keeping our own addictions in check.

I have come to realize that some personalities are more addiction prone than others. Competitive and perfectionist individuals, for example, are the right candidates for addictions. They use substances to tone down their self imposed rigors and deal with failure. Alcohol is a great social lubricant, thus, a magnet for shy or socially uncomfortable individuals who will often be drawn to it to smooth out their discomfort at social gatherings.  Type A and high energy individuals use barbiturates to relax.  More risky personalities will seek out the thrill of exuberant drugs like cocaine and hallucinogens.  At some point in our lives we have all been exposed to many of these substances and have chosen to engage or not.  I am interested to know how we an teach our children to disengage when given the choice. I'd love to start a dialogue.

Here is a great piece about addictions.  I like this perspective although I agree with some of the comments that we cannot love an addict back to recovery.  But it certainly helps.  Enjoy!

http://www.ted.com/talks/johann_hari_everything_you_think_you_know_about_addiction_is_wrong

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