I have an amazing mother; she is a living saint. I'm serious! My five foot tall mother will one day be canonized but for now she is very alive and kicking hard! And I'm glad. She has shaped who I am today and will continue to influence me for the rest of my life. Interestingly though, I don't have a close relationship with her. Read: We are not buddy buddies, we don't share personal secrets and I have never come close to crying on her lap about a broken heart. Our relationship is not like that. I often wonder what it would be like to have coffee with mom and talk at length about life and about feelings, and being a woman and such... But mom wouldn't entertain that nonsense. She is a person of faith, a devoted Catholic and a real life warrior. Her words have deep meaning and her time is valuable. She takes her vocation seriously; therefore, every moment counts and every breath has purpose.
I'm grateful for my mother, for the influence she has on me, and for the value she adds to this society. We could certainly benefit from more people like her. I won't deny at times I have resented her, for not being sensitive enough, or present enough, or loving enough. But at the end of the day I know that my stronghold lies in her spiritual strength which she has instilled in me. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I will live my life striving to find peace in the relationship that we do have. Sometimes it is easier than others. A child inside me still yearns for her approval, for her show of interest in the things I do and love, for her support. It's a good thing God created me so stubborn because I have been able to be my own person in spite of her dissent.
I have been blessed with the gift of motherhood and I now understand my mother a lot better. In many ways I am just like her, especially in regards to the seriousness of our vocation. But in many others I seek to differ. I want a strong bond with my children. I seek to know them at their core. I am learning to lose myself for the sake of finding joy in all areas of my life, especially in motherhood. And I am forever surprised by the effect this has had on my happiness. My life has meaning and purpose and it is usually found in the most ordinary moments, the fleeting ones that we so easily missed when we live in constant vigil for extraordinary experiences. Here is a quote from a book I'm currently reading:
“It has taken awhile, but I certainly do know it now – the most wonderful gift I had, the gift I finally learned to cherish above all else, was the gift of all those perfectly ordinary days.”
I was raised to believe that our actions and goals should always aim towards the extraordinary. I guess it's a good thing. Today I'm focusing on the ordinary. Because that's where I find myself.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Thursday, November 20, 2014
Post-race reflections, what really happened during my race
I'm documenting this for future reference because I'm stubborn and hard-headed at times, especially in regards to my health. In retrospect, I should have post-poned this race. But that is something I have a hard time with. I like to finish what I start, but finishing for the sake of finishing is not the best course of action always.
I spent last week physically recovering from my race. The first couple of days I had a hard time walking but by about day 3 I was able to do a three mile walk/run with the stroller. I mainly wanted to warm up my muscles to get a good stretch. But the truth is that I didn't have the stamina to run any more. I was winded, still somewhat dizzy and totally exhausted even from a slow jog. On Friday I decided to go for a longer run, 4 miles. I came home exhausted and all I could think of doing was sleep. I couldn't fathom the thought of having to care for my two children and answer to their many questions and demands when my head fell so heavy and my body so exhausted. I pulled through for the next few hours until quiet time and I lied down and took a nap. I felt my body grow heavy against the bed and I couldn't open my eyes even if I had wanted to. Isaac no longer naps so my subconscious was definitely alert at the sound of child coming out of his room, but I just wanted one more minute in bed. I so much wished for Dave to be home, for a relative or friend to be nearby and the comfort of calling them so I could just stay in bed. I have never been so exhausted. Wiped. Out.
I dragged myself out of bed and I sat on the sofa. Isaac kept circling around me, sensing something was off with mama. I asked him to keep the sound low and to close the blinds (I imagine this is what a migraine must feel like). I had a chill all over my body and I couldn't focus on anything. I remembered that I hadn't taken my sudafed that morning, or for the last 2 days. I got up and went to take it. Within an hour I was in functional mode. I called the doctor and made an appointment, I was able to be seen that afternoon. Confirmed sinus infection. How long has this been going on the doctor asked? 3, 4 weeks? I typically "ride" an infection and try lots of home care remedies before succumbing to antibiotics: Sinus irrigations, fluids, hot soups and teas, oregano oil, colloidal silver, all help, but sudafed ultimately relieves the congestion and gets me back and running. I just don't like the thought of taking it all the time. It messes with my electrolytes and alters heart rate, makes me susceptible to heat, AND it is a drug! I don't like drugs.
Well...here is the short of it. I have had a sinus infection for a few weeks. I was able to function with proper care but by race day I had been taking sudafed for a couple of weeks. I was functional but not healthy. Not for 26 miles of running in the heat when my electrolytes were out of balance. I became physically ill during my run, something that I had never experienced. The last half of my run was pure torture. I don't know how I finished. It is all a blurr. This is not the experience I was looking for. I am not complaining, I made this choice. This is just a reminder for me, for next time.
Are you a stubborn horse like myself? Share some of your tips. I could certainly use them.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Santa Barbara Marathon Race Recap
Where do I begin? Here is a photo of my feet. My left foot is swollen, blistered and sore, as the rest of my body and my heart, a little...
I ran very little this week. Just a 30 min tempo run on Monday, 2 miles on Wednesday and 2 on Friday. I mostly just rested, stretched, iced, rolled, and prepared myself for Saturday. Midway through the week I began to feel "off." It started with light-headedness, stomach cramps, and an overall feverish feeling. I immediately implemented my emergency flu treatment: oregano oil, echinacea, garlic soup, and lots of fluids. I went to bed early on Thursday and woke up feeling better on Friday morning, though not entirely well.
The drive to Santa Barbara was quite enjoyable. We stopped by the expo, picked up our race packets and headed to our hotel. As soon as we got situated we went out for a quick run to shake off our nerves and stretch and then we met our friends for dinner. Sally and I shared a veggie pizza and I had a beet and arugula salad. Nothing out of the ordinary. We went back to our room, got all our gear ready, our alarms set and tried to get a restful night of sleep. I tossed and turned a little but for the most part I was able to get rest.
On Saturday my alarm went off at 5am. I got up and did my usual morning ritual: apple cider vinegar gargle, netti pot sinus rinse, water, essential oils, etc. I took a warm shower to loosen my muscles, got dressed, got some coffee and ate a peanut butter sandwich. Nothing out of the ordinary. We drove to UCSB campus where we parked our car, got into a shuttle and arrived at the start line by 6:45, with plenty of time before our race started at 7:30am.
Up to this point I'm feeling well. I'm relaxed, excited and a bit reflective. By 7:25 everyone starts lining up and 4 military planes fly overhead, the national anthem plays and I can't contain the tears. I'm very emotional. I pull out my list and begin to read the names for the first few miles. The words "lost in battle" catch my eye and I cry. I try to compose myself and get ready to go.
At 7:30am the gun goes off. I slowly find my pace and fall comfortably in with the 3:50 group. A few minutes later I pass them and quickly find myself behind the 3:45 group. I follow this group for about a mile and I decide to cut through and see where my pace falls naturally. I catch up to the 3:40 group and the pace felt comfortable. I've been training at this pace, my body recognizes it. I stick with this group for the next 7 miles, all the while a dialogue is playing in my head: Can I really do this? What if I could go for a BQ today and just get it out of the way? I can taste victory for a fleeting moment but I quickly realize that I'm kidding myself. An 8:20 pace is swift for me. I can maintain it for 10 miles, but 26? Plus there is no wiggle room at all. Ok, my bubble burst and reality sunk. A BQ is not my goal today.
Mile 8--I need hydration and fuel. It's very hot! I remember there are GUs at mile 9 so I decide to wait. I get to mile 9, stop to consume my gel and the dizziness comes back, my stomach starts cramping and I get a cold feeling all over my body. I keep running but find myself slowing down quite a bit. I'm feeling worse by the minute. Miles 10 through 13 are a blurr. I'm sick to my stomach and I'm seriously considering quitting at the half way point. Fatigue has set in and I feel faint.
Mile 13--I reach an aid station and I get sick....I sit down and I'm offered water and a granola bar by a kind volunteer. He is friendly and engages me in conversation. I feel awful! I sit for a few minutes and then I get up, thank him and ask for the water bottle cap. He hands it to me and tells me he will keep watch over me. At this point I begin to cry. I pull out my list and start to "talk" to my new friends. I ask them to carry me. I asked them what kept them from quitting. I confess I have nothing left.
Mile 18--the last five miles are a blur, I don't know how I got here. I am taking a walking break and see the 4:10 group pull up next to me. Adrienne, our other friend taps me in the shoulder and says, you got this Lucia, come on. I couldn't look at her. I just start running. We keep up with this group for a little bit and we check in on each other. She is not doing so well either. We are both desperate for salt. There is not enough food or electrolytes on this run and we are dying. Our legs are starting to cramp.
Mile 22--I have nothing left. I do my best to run for a few minutes but I'm mostly walking. I reach "the hill" at mile 23 and sigh. Half a mile and then it's downhill. My legs lock up, they feel like rocks. I get to the top and catch a glimpse of the ocean. The end is so near I can taste it. I can't run anymore. My head feels like its going to explode and I feel sick again. I wish I could run down the hill but I have a hard time standing on my feet.
Mile 25--the flags! I sob.
Mile 26--I need to cross the finish line with dignity, so I pretend to run...
Mile 26.1 We finished. Thank you for carrying me friends.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I ran very little this week. Just a 30 min tempo run on Monday, 2 miles on Wednesday and 2 on Friday. I mostly just rested, stretched, iced, rolled, and prepared myself for Saturday. Midway through the week I began to feel "off." It started with light-headedness, stomach cramps, and an overall feverish feeling. I immediately implemented my emergency flu treatment: oregano oil, echinacea, garlic soup, and lots of fluids. I went to bed early on Thursday and woke up feeling better on Friday morning, though not entirely well.
The drive to Santa Barbara was quite enjoyable. We stopped by the expo, picked up our race packets and headed to our hotel. As soon as we got situated we went out for a quick run to shake off our nerves and stretch and then we met our friends for dinner. Sally and I shared a veggie pizza and I had a beet and arugula salad. Nothing out of the ordinary. We went back to our room, got all our gear ready, our alarms set and tried to get a restful night of sleep. I tossed and turned a little but for the most part I was able to get rest.
On Saturday my alarm went off at 5am. I got up and did my usual morning ritual: apple cider vinegar gargle, netti pot sinus rinse, water, essential oils, etc. I took a warm shower to loosen my muscles, got dressed, got some coffee and ate a peanut butter sandwich. Nothing out of the ordinary. We drove to UCSB campus where we parked our car, got into a shuttle and arrived at the start line by 6:45, with plenty of time before our race started at 7:30am.
Up to this point I'm feeling well. I'm relaxed, excited and a bit reflective. By 7:25 everyone starts lining up and 4 military planes fly overhead, the national anthem plays and I can't contain the tears. I'm very emotional. I pull out my list and begin to read the names for the first few miles. The words "lost in battle" catch my eye and I cry. I try to compose myself and get ready to go.
At 7:30am the gun goes off. I slowly find my pace and fall comfortably in with the 3:50 group. A few minutes later I pass them and quickly find myself behind the 3:45 group. I follow this group for about a mile and I decide to cut through and see where my pace falls naturally. I catch up to the 3:40 group and the pace felt comfortable. I've been training at this pace, my body recognizes it. I stick with this group for the next 7 miles, all the while a dialogue is playing in my head: Can I really do this? What if I could go for a BQ today and just get it out of the way? I can taste victory for a fleeting moment but I quickly realize that I'm kidding myself. An 8:20 pace is swift for me. I can maintain it for 10 miles, but 26? Plus there is no wiggle room at all. Ok, my bubble burst and reality sunk. A BQ is not my goal today.
Mile 8--I need hydration and fuel. It's very hot! I remember there are GUs at mile 9 so I decide to wait. I get to mile 9, stop to consume my gel and the dizziness comes back, my stomach starts cramping and I get a cold feeling all over my body. I keep running but find myself slowing down quite a bit. I'm feeling worse by the minute. Miles 10 through 13 are a blurr. I'm sick to my stomach and I'm seriously considering quitting at the half way point. Fatigue has set in and I feel faint.
Mile 13--I reach an aid station and I get sick....I sit down and I'm offered water and a granola bar by a kind volunteer. He is friendly and engages me in conversation. I feel awful! I sit for a few minutes and then I get up, thank him and ask for the water bottle cap. He hands it to me and tells me he will keep watch over me. At this point I begin to cry. I pull out my list and start to "talk" to my new friends. I ask them to carry me. I asked them what kept them from quitting. I confess I have nothing left.
Mile 18--the last five miles are a blur, I don't know how I got here. I am taking a walking break and see the 4:10 group pull up next to me. Adrienne, our other friend taps me in the shoulder and says, you got this Lucia, come on. I couldn't look at her. I just start running. We keep up with this group for a little bit and we check in on each other. She is not doing so well either. We are both desperate for salt. There is not enough food or electrolytes on this run and we are dying. Our legs are starting to cramp.
Mile 22--I have nothing left. I do my best to run for a few minutes but I'm mostly walking. I reach "the hill" at mile 23 and sigh. Half a mile and then it's downhill. My legs lock up, they feel like rocks. I get to the top and catch a glimpse of the ocean. The end is so near I can taste it. I can't run anymore. My head feels like its going to explode and I feel sick again. I wish I could run down the hill but I have a hard time standing on my feet.
Mile 25--the flags! I sob.
Mile 26--I need to cross the finish line with dignity, so I pretend to run...
Mile 26.1 We finished. Thank you for carrying me friends.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Marathon training weeks 17 and 18
This is it! All my training has come down to...wait, what was my goal? It's easy to forget. Luckily for me I've made a record of it here and can easily access it. My goal for this training was to get me in the best shape possible to run and enjoy the Santa Barbara marathon on Nov. 8th and to keep me injury free. I believe I've accomplished my goal. Race day is just another day and my body can suddenly freak out and decide it isnt going to do what I want it to do, so I've made my best effort to enjoy my training up to this point. And I know that I'm ready for it. Here is why:
1) I've kept up with my training schedule, especially my long runs and I've finished them all feeling strong.
2) I have a good understanding of my fueling and hydration needs.
3) I know how to pace myself so as to not burn out quickly (I've been known to hit the wall for starting out too fast).
4) I've been able to, on numerous occasions, overcome mental blocks and this is an essential component in long distance running.
5) I can wait for race day, because I've learned that everything is a process and tapering is an important part of it.
Here is how the last 2 weeks went:
Week 17 (planned vs. actual)
Sunday: 5 miles/ 2 mile walk (still very sore from Saturdays trail run)
Monday: 8 miles/ 7 miles (feeling a bit better after rolling legs)
Tuesday: 5 miles/ 13 mile hike to Mt. Diablo summit
Wednesday: 6 x hill/ 3 mile run plus boot camp class
Thursday: off
Friday: 4 mile pace/5 miles, 4 at race pace
Saturday: 12 miles--this run was tough! Sinus issues at peak high levels
Total miles planned: 39
Actual miles: 42
Week 18
Sunday: 4 miles
Monday: 6 miles / 6 x 800s
Tuesday: 4 miles / 4 mile hike
Wednesday: 30 min tempo / 2 mile run plus boot camp class
Thursday: off
Friday: 4 miles
Saturday: 8 miles/ 7 miles
Total miles planned: 28
Actual miles: 27
This week my mileage goes way down and I'm bound to experience crankiness and withdrawals (I already am!). I'm making every effort to stay relaxed, to nourish my body and get plenty of rest. We drive out on Friday morning, pick up our race packets, rest and get ready for Saturday. Come Saturday morning I will embark on a 26.2 mile course through beautiful and scenic Santa Barbara in the best company possible. I am very fortunate and thankful for this opportunity. Stay tuned for next week's post. It will be full of pictures and great news! :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
1) I've kept up with my training schedule, especially my long runs and I've finished them all feeling strong.
2) I have a good understanding of my fueling and hydration needs.
3) I know how to pace myself so as to not burn out quickly (I've been known to hit the wall for starting out too fast).
4) I've been able to, on numerous occasions, overcome mental blocks and this is an essential component in long distance running.
5) I can wait for race day, because I've learned that everything is a process and tapering is an important part of it.
Here is how the last 2 weeks went:
Week 17 (planned vs. actual)
Sunday: 5 miles/ 2 mile walk (still very sore from Saturdays trail run)
Monday: 8 miles/ 7 miles (feeling a bit better after rolling legs)
Tuesday: 5 miles/ 13 mile hike to Mt. Diablo summit
Wednesday: 6 x hill/ 3 mile run plus boot camp class
Thursday: off
Friday: 4 mile pace/5 miles, 4 at race pace
Saturday: 12 miles--this run was tough! Sinus issues at peak high levels
Total miles planned: 39
Actual miles: 42
Week 18
Sunday: 4 miles
Monday: 6 miles / 6 x 800s
Tuesday: 4 miles / 4 mile hike
Wednesday: 30 min tempo / 2 mile run plus boot camp class
Thursday: off
Friday: 4 miles
Saturday: 8 miles/ 7 miles
Total miles planned: 28
Actual miles: 27
This week my mileage goes way down and I'm bound to experience crankiness and withdrawals (I already am!). I'm making every effort to stay relaxed, to nourish my body and get plenty of rest. We drive out on Friday morning, pick up our race packets, rest and get ready for Saturday. Come Saturday morning I will embark on a 26.2 mile course through beautiful and scenic Santa Barbara in the best company possible. I am very fortunate and thankful for this opportunity. Stay tuned for next week's post. It will be full of pictures and great news! :)
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)