Are runners leaders or team players?

At a recent dinner conversation, the topic came up of why I practice long distance running as my sport of choice. It was mentioned that, generally, people who are competitive, focused, determined and ambitious choose individual sports...because they are not good team players, but they can be good leaders. The conversation took me back twenty something years to a time in my life when I was both struggling to define my identity and vulnerable. A person I looked up to, a father figure, challenged me for not being a good team player.  Not sure what he based his accusation on but that phrase played in my head for many years to come and would become especially loud during team building efforts.  In some ways I may have risen to that label and chosen to work alone for fears of failing my team.  My discipline and proactivity favored me in leadership roles so I generally assumed those.  But I didn't know at the time that I could, also be a good team player.

What constitutes a leader?  Judy Rossi, author "Raising Responsible Children" states: "The essence of leading...is 'others first'" She urges us to consider Christ's leadership: "He didn't lead by dominating; He led by serving. He didn't save by another's sacrifice but by His own." So in other words, a leader should be concerned with the least of his group and make sure he/she is not left behind. Mark 9:35 says "If anyone wants to be first, he shall be last of all and servant of all."   So if runners can be leaders and leaders are by essence team players, does that mean runners can be team players?  My experience has shown me exactly that.  Runners can be excellent leaders and team players, it just depends on the circumstances and a seasoned runner knows how to differentiate.

I began running during my senior year in high school, during a transitive time characterized by very high stress. Running was my release. I wasn't fast, I wasn't one of the better runners in the team, I was probably the worst, but it didn't matter. The competition was always with myself, on how I could overcome the challenges, on how I could beat a personal record, on how I could sometimes just finish a race, that alone was an accomplishment. At the same time running enabled me to deal with all my stressors in my life and the stamina I built logging miles transferred to other areas, propelling me and keeping me strong for the long days ahead. But it was something I mostly did alone.  I call this the early phase of my running journey.

After high school I stopped racing and just ran for fun. Yes. I said it.  I ran for fun. I looked forward to any opportunity to lace my shoes and hit the pavement for as long as I could go, without any idea of where I would go. Every run was spontaneous.  This is the phase of no watches, water bottles, sweat wicking clothes or fancy tennis shoes.  I just ran. And I loved it. I ran in my lunch hour at work, I ran from my office home, I ran while my party guests slept on my kitchen floor after a long night of... too much fun! I ran to release tension, to get a good cry, to find a quiet spot and sit for a few minutes and catch my breath.  I ran to familiarize myself with my surroundings, to appreciate the beauty of a tree lined street that is often missed as we zoom by in our cars.  I ran while holding a cup of coffee (I do not recommend) and with too many grocery bags after a quick stop at the market. I ran for the joy of it. This is the epic part of my running life.  But still a lonely endeavor.

Running has remained an integral part of my life. It is both where I lose and find myself.    These days I carry a watch, a water bottle and I typically know the route and/or the distance I'm going to go.  I wear running appropriate clothes (though not the latest models), good tennis shoes (a must!) and I'm all too cognizant of my pace.   I have trained for an done a few races, worked on my pace, and realized some improvements.  I've also overcome some challenges and continue to discover new things about myself.  Nowadays I crave running in good company, sharing the road and journeying together.  During the same dinner conversation we discussed the topic of personal victories. I mentioned that my victories are measured daily during my training, and that race day is not where I put all my eggs. Generally, I prefer to run a race in good company rather than focusing on pace. And given the choice, I don't leave my company behind.  This also transfers in other areas of my life.

I guess I've entered the seasoned runner phase.  I can handle that.






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The next chapter

I wrote this a few weeks ago...

I'm in transition, a rather uncomfortable place for me to dwell upon so I want it to settle into a new normal. Quickly. Change is inevitable and although I'm not entirely comfortable with it, I tend to adapt rather fast. I like having a vision of what's to come, a goal, a path. I'm at my worst when I feel like I'm stuck in space floating around for something to take shape. I realize this is an area of improvement for me and perhaps one God is calling me to perfect so I'm opening my heart to this possibility. I'm praying for sanity and wisdom. But I'm sad to report that I'm yet a far way from trusting in Gods plan.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do." (Eleanor Roosevelt)

Facing my fears has been the theme of my life as of late. After I wrote the paragraph above I began to pray for faith and trust.  I recruited some friends to pray for me as well and I can feel something moving deep within me.   I am feeling a lot more at ease in not knowing and not having all the answers.  It hasn't been an easy space for me to occupy but I've dealt with it in the best (and sometimes worst) ways possible. But I'm in a much better place and I'm thankful for it.

Even in running I'm working on overcoming some fears.  I am not an adrenaline junkie, so fast races or runs for that matter are not entirely comfortable for me, especially fast downhill runs.  I'm training for a 50K that is a net downhill and I'm having to mentally focus on the downhill training runs to not compromise my quads prematurely.  In fast tempo runs I have to constantly overcome mental blocks that hinder my performance.  All a work in progress.

I can tell that this will be a year of much growth if I can see past previous roadblocks.   "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13)

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Isaac's first run

"After high school I want to be a runner like you mama" Isaac

On April 12th Isaac ran his first official race. He was nervous, a bit apprehensive, but I believe he was hit by the running bug. The event was a bit disorganized so even the most season runner would have been feeling out of sorts. Nonetheless as soon as the horn went off all the children started running and the mood turned to excitement. Isaac was joined by some of his classmates so that made the experience way more tolerable.

Cheers to many more medals my son!




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Freedom

I learned to ride a bike when I was five years old. My brother built one for me and probably taught me how to ride it as well. Family bike rides were a rite of passage and I was ever so proud to take my first. I remember vividly how my mom and dad rode in front and everyone else followed. I'm sure there weren't any helmets involved and we more than likely violated all traffic rules being a family of 9 (my younger sister hadn't been born yet). But the memory is forever burned in my mind.

Fast rack a few years, I'm ten years old riding all over town fetching groceries for mom. Sugar is a highly prized commodity at this time and quite scarce. I rode all over town and nearby towns looking for any store that might sell it. I found every opportunity to ride my bike and I loved the freedom it brought me. I loved being able to pedal away and go far away places. There was always an adventure in the making. I cannot imagine a better childhood.

I rode my bike to school as well. During my senior year in high school I did an intra district transfer and had to ride my bike 40 mins to and from school. I carried my guitar on board because why not right? I rode in fog so thick I couldn't see past five feet in front. I rode in rain so heavy it caused me my thick hamstring muscles I still sport. I rode after track practice, into the late evening hours after long homework sessions. I grocery shopped in my bicycle. I mastered the skill of 10 grocery bags on my handle bars plus a backpack full on my back. There were no limits...

At 22 I still rode a bike. By this time I'm living in a tiny studio apartment with my mom and sister, waking up at 5am, stopping at Seven Eleven for a 22oz vanilla bean coffee on the go. I work an 8hr shift and then zoom to my next job, a short 10 mile bike ride. I work there until 11pm and ride home in the dark. The cops follow me just to be sure I get home safely. I'm a regular on the streets. I once ran over my apron (I'm a store clerk), my retainer was inside and I break it. I never replaced it. My bike was my life.

At 23 I got a desk job and had to retire the bike. I took up running. Are you surprised?

Freedom.


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Let the fun begin!

I've been working on a job prospect and it looks like it is getting ready to launch.  I'm nervous, excited, and overall optimistic about this transition.  To say that it's been smooth sailing would be a huge understatement but I think I'm ready for the new normal.  Let the fun begin!