On mother/daughter relationships

I have an amazing mother; she is a living saint. I'm serious! My five foot tall mother will one day be canonized but for now she is very alive and kicking hard! And I'm glad. She has shaped who I am today and will continue to influence me for the rest of my life. Interestingly though, I don't have a close relationship with her. Read: We are not buddy buddies, we don't share personal secrets and I have never come close to crying on her lap about a broken heart. Our relationship is not like that. I often wonder what it would be like to have coffee with mom and talk at length about life and about feelings, and being a woman and such... But mom wouldn't entertain that nonsense. She is a person of faith, a devoted Catholic and a real life warrior. Her words have deep meaning and her time is valuable. She takes her vocation seriously; therefore, every moment counts and every breath has purpose.

I'm grateful for my mother, for the influence she has on me, and for the value she adds to this society. We could certainly benefit from more people like her. I won't deny at times I have resented her, for not being sensitive enough, or present enough, or loving enough. But at the end of the day I know that my stronghold lies in her spiritual strength which she has instilled in me. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I will live my life striving to find peace in the relationship that we do have. Sometimes it is easier than others. A child inside me still yearns for her approval, for her show of interest in the things I do and love, for her support. It's a good thing God created me so stubborn because I have been able to be my own person in spite of her dissent.

I have been blessed with the gift of motherhood and I now understand my mother a lot better. In many ways I am just like her, especially in regards to the seriousness of our vocation. But in many others I seek to differ. I want a strong bond with my children. I seek to know them at their core. I am learning to lose myself for the sake of finding joy in all areas of my life, especially in motherhood. And I am forever surprised by the effect this has had on my happiness. My life has meaning and purpose and it is usually found in the most ordinary moments, the fleeting ones that we so easily missed when we live in constant vigil for extraordinary experiences. Here is a quote from a book I'm currently reading:

“It has taken awhile, but I certainly do know it now – the most wonderful gift I had, the gift I finally learned to cherish above all else, was the gift of all those perfectly ordinary days.”

I was raised to believe that our actions and goals should always aim towards the extraordinary. I guess it's a good thing. Today I'm focusing on the ordinary. Because that's where I find myself.

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Post-race reflections, what really happened during my race

I'm documenting this for future reference because I'm stubborn and hard-headed at times, especially in regards to my health.  In retrospect, I should have post-poned this race.  But that is something I have a hard time with.  I like to finish what I start, but finishing for the sake of finishing is not the best course of action always.

I spent last week physically recovering from my race.  The first couple of days I had a hard time walking but by about day 3 I was able to do a three mile walk/run with the stroller.  I mainly wanted to warm up my muscles to get a good stretch.  But the truth is that I didn't have the stamina to run any more.  I was winded, still somewhat dizzy and totally exhausted even from a slow jog.  On Friday I decided to go for a longer run, 4 miles.  I came home exhausted and all I could think of doing was sleep.  I couldn't fathom the thought of having to care for my two children and answer to their many questions and demands when my head fell so heavy and my body so exhausted.   I pulled through for the next few hours until quiet time and I lied down and took a nap.  I felt my body grow heavy against the bed and I couldn't open my eyes even if I had wanted to.  Isaac no longer naps so my subconscious was definitely alert at the sound of child coming out of his room, but I just wanted one more minute in bed.  I so much wished for Dave to be home, for a relative or friend to be nearby and the comfort of calling them so I could just stay in bed.  I have never been so exhausted.  Wiped. Out.

I dragged myself out of bed and I sat on the sofa.  Isaac kept circling around me, sensing something was off with mama. I asked him to keep the sound low and to close the blinds (I imagine this is what a migraine must feel like).  I had a chill all over my body and I couldn't focus on anything.  I remembered that I hadn't taken my sudafed that morning, or for the last 2 days.  I got up and went to take  it.  Within an hour I was in functional mode. I called the doctor and made an appointment, I was able to be seen that afternoon.  Confirmed sinus infection.   How long has this been going on the doctor asked?  3, 4 weeks?  I typically "ride" an infection and try lots of home care remedies before succumbing to antibiotics: Sinus irrigations, fluids, hot soups and teas, oregano oil, colloidal silver, all help, but sudafed ultimately relieves the congestion and gets me back and running.  I just don't like the thought of taking it all the time.  It messes with my electrolytes and alters heart rate, makes me susceptible to heat, AND it is a drug!  I don't like drugs.

Well...here is the short of it.  I have had a sinus infection for a few weeks.  I was able to function with proper care but by race day I had been taking sudafed for a couple of weeks.  I was functional but not healthy. Not for 26 miles of running in the heat when my electrolytes were out of balance.  I became physically ill during my run, something that I had never experienced.  The last half of my run was pure torture.  I don't know how I finished.  It is all a blurr.    This is not the experience I was looking for. I am not complaining, I made this choice.  This is just a reminder for me, for next time.  

Are you a stubborn horse like myself?  Share some of your tips.  I could certainly use them.

Santa Barbara Marathon Race Recap

Where do I begin? Here is a photo of my feet. My left foot is swollen, blistered and sore, as the rest of my body and my heart, a little...
 
I ran very little this week. Just a 30 min tempo run on Monday, 2 miles on Wednesday and 2 on Friday. I mostly just rested, stretched, iced, rolled, and prepared myself for Saturday. Midway through the week I began to feel "off." It started with light-headedness, stomach cramps, and an overall feverish feeling. I immediately implemented my emergency flu treatment: oregano oil, echinacea, garlic soup, and lots of fluids. I went to bed early on Thursday and woke up feeling better on Friday morning, though not entirely well.
The drive to Santa Barbara was quite enjoyable. We stopped by the expo, picked up our race packets and headed to our hotel. As soon as we got situated we went out for a quick run to shake off our nerves and stretch and then we met our friends for dinner. Sally and I shared a veggie pizza and I had a beet and arugula salad. Nothing out of the ordinary. We went back to our room, got all our gear ready, our alarms set and tried to get a restful night of sleep. I tossed and turned a little but for the most part I was able to get rest.
On Saturday my alarm went off at 5am. I got up and did my usual morning ritual: apple cider vinegar gargle, netti pot sinus rinse, water, essential oils, etc. I took a warm shower to loosen my muscles, got dressed, got some coffee and ate a peanut butter sandwich. Nothing out of the ordinary. We drove to UCSB campus where we parked our car, got into a shuttle and arrived at the start line by 6:45, with plenty of time before our race started at 7:30am.
Up to this point I'm feeling well. I'm relaxed, excited and a bit reflective. By 7:25 everyone starts lining up and 4 military planes fly overhead, the national anthem plays and I can't contain the tears. I'm very emotional. I pull out my list and begin to read the names for the first few miles. The words "lost in battle" catch my eye and I cry. I try to compose myself and get ready to go.
At 7:30am the gun goes off. I slowly find my pace and fall comfortably in with the 3:50 group. A few minutes later I pass them and quickly find myself behind the 3:45 group. I follow this group for about a mile and I decide to cut through and see where my pace falls naturally. I catch up to the 3:40 group and the pace felt comfortable. I've been training at this pace, my body recognizes it. I stick with this group for the next 7 miles, all the while a dialogue is playing in my head: Can I really do this? What if I could go for a BQ today and just get it out of the way? I can taste victory for a fleeting moment but I quickly realize that I'm kidding myself. An 8:20 pace is swift for me. I can maintain it for 10 miles, but 26? Plus there is no wiggle room at all. Ok, my bubble burst and reality sunk. A BQ is not my goal today.
Mile 8--I need hydration and fuel. It's very hot! I remember there are GUs at mile 9 so I decide to wait. I get to mile 9, stop to consume my gel and the dizziness comes back, my stomach starts cramping and I get a cold feeling all over my body. I keep running but find myself slowing down quite a bit. I'm feeling worse by the minute. Miles 10 through 13 are a blurr. I'm sick to my stomach and I'm seriously considering quitting at the half way point. Fatigue has set in and I feel faint.
Mile 13--I reach an aid station and I get sick....I sit down and I'm offered water and a granola bar by a kind volunteer. He is friendly and engages me in conversation. I feel awful! I sit for a few minutes and then I get up, thank him and ask for the water bottle cap. He hands it to me and tells me he will keep watch over me. At this point I begin to cry. I pull out my list and start to "talk" to my new friends. I ask them to carry me. I asked them what kept them from quitting. I confess I have nothing left.
Mile 18--the last five miles are a blur, I don't know how I got here. I am taking a walking break and see the 4:10 group pull up next to me. Adrienne, our other friend taps me in the shoulder and says, you got this Lucia, come on. I couldn't look at her. I just start running. We keep up with this group for a little bit and we check in on each other. She is not doing so well either. We are both desperate for salt. There is not enough food or electrolytes on this run and we are dying. Our legs are starting to cramp.
Mile 22--I have nothing left. I do my best to run for a few minutes but I'm mostly walking. I reach "the hill" at mile 23 and sigh. Half a mile and then it's downhill. My legs lock up, they feel like rocks. I get to the top and catch a glimpse of the ocean. The end is so near I can taste it. I can't run anymore. My head feels like its going to explode and I feel sick again. I wish I could run down the hill but I have a hard time standing on my feet.
Mile 25--the flags! I sob.
Mile 26--I need to cross the finish line with dignity, so I pretend to run...
Mile 26.1 We finished. Thank you for carrying me friends.
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Marathon training weeks 17 and 18

This is it! All my training has come down to...wait, what was my goal? It's easy to forget. Luckily for me I've made a record of it here and can easily access it. My goal for this training was to get me in the best shape possible to run and enjoy the Santa Barbara marathon on Nov. 8th and to keep me injury free. I believe I've accomplished my goal. Race day is just another day and my body can suddenly freak out and decide it isnt going to do what I want it to do, so I've made my best effort to enjoy my training up to this point. And I know that I'm ready for it. Here is why:

1) I've kept up with my training schedule, especially my long runs and I've finished them all feeling strong.
2) I have a good understanding of my fueling and hydration needs.
3) I know how to pace myself so as to not burn out quickly (I've been known to hit the wall for starting out too fast).
4) I've been able to, on numerous occasions, overcome mental blocks and this is an essential component in long distance running.
5) I can wait for race day, because I've learned that everything is a process and tapering is an important part of it.

Here is how the last 2 weeks went:

Week 17 (planned vs. actual)

Sunday: 5 miles/ 2 mile walk (still very sore from Saturdays trail run)
Monday: 8 miles/ 7 miles (feeling a bit better after rolling legs)
Tuesday: 5 miles/ 13 mile hike to Mt. Diablo summit
Wednesday: 6 x hill/ 3 mile run plus boot camp class
Thursday: off
Friday: 4 mile pace/5 miles, 4 at race pace
Saturday: 12 miles--this run was tough! Sinus issues at peak high levels

Total miles planned: 39
Actual miles: 42

Week 18

Sunday: 4 miles
Monday: 6 miles / 6 x 800s
Tuesday: 4 miles / 4 mile hike
Wednesday: 30 min tempo / 2 mile run plus boot camp class
Thursday: off
Friday: 4 miles
Saturday: 8 miles/ 7 miles

Total miles planned: 28
Actual miles: 27

This week my mileage goes way down and I'm bound to experience crankiness and withdrawals (I already am!). I'm making every effort to stay relaxed, to nourish my body and get plenty of rest. We drive out on Friday morning, pick up our race packets, rest and get ready for Saturday. Come Saturday morning I will embark on a 26.2 mile course through beautiful and scenic Santa Barbara in the best company possible. I am very fortunate and thankful for this opportunity. Stay tuned for next week's post. It will be full of pictures and great news! :)



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You cannot outrun a poor diet

I wrote this post several months ago but I needed to muster up the courage to confess something that Im not proud of. I run for health and freedom but I also run to eat. You've heard the stories...running torches calories right? Well, to a point. I found out the hard way that you really cannot outrun a poor diet. No matter how hard you try.

I'm not in the habit of weighing myself. Body image and weight issues have crowded my happiness at various times in my life and regular weight checks seem to trigger feelings of dependency on a number. So I avoid putting myself through that if I can help it. But...in April I stepped on the scale and the number revealed something I had long suspected. My comfort zone and my waist line had expanded quite a bit. Even with all my running. At the time I was averaging 50 miles of hard core training every week plus 2 sessions of weight lifting and lots of activity with the kids. And I was over compensating with food and wine. I was shocked! Confused? In denial, sure. I went about my day as usual but I simply could not take that number out of my head. I had plenty of soul searching to do.

I would often hear of people having such realizations when looking at their image on a photograph, a video or a reflection and commenting that they didn't recognize themselves. I always thought this was so bizarre. How could you not realize you are growing? Ridiculous! Funny thing is that weight distribution is a tricky thing and a person of my height and frame can easily carry 20 extra pounds without looking overweight. But the weight doesn't come on suddenly. It accrues slowly and we somehow adapt to the growing waistline by discarding clothing items that reveal the truth. I guess that was the case for me.

I began to casually journal everything I ate and drank, without judgement. And therein I found my answers. I am not a junk food eater, and my sugar consumption is minimal, but I have a big appetite, and I was consuming too much food. Additionally I was stress eating, and drinking. I felt unhealthy, depressed, and unmotivated to make a change. A few months passed before I actually started doing what I know works best: Counting calories. A friend recommended a site called loseit.com and I promptly began logging all my food and exercise. I was nervous at first, I'm not particularly fond of food restrictions but something about having to log all my calories made them a bit more meaningful to eat. I also cut back on my wine consumption, mostly because by the end of the day I was out of calories. This went on for about 4 months. I slowly dropped the first 9 pounds. And then something incredible happened, my birthday was soon approaching and I wanted to do something good for myself. In August I took a 30 day sobriety challenge. I was empowered by the changes I had already seen in myself and I wanted to find out just what role alcohol played in my life. It was tough at first but by the second week I gained an unprecedented level of confidence and the assurance that I was not an addict. Addictions can creep up on us so its always good to keep them at bay.

My weight plateaued since my original weight loss and I was getting a bit discouraged, but I was motivated by all the other changes I was noticing. I began taking my marathon training more seriously and gaining more confidence that some day soon I can strive to get a BQ. I stopped making excuses and claiming the space I allowed myself for training. My general anxiety dissipated and I found myself more at ease with my life and roles. All this as a result of taking charge of my daily choices and yes, it all begins with what we put in our bodies. I have dropped 2 more pounds and I'm getting really close to my goal. It makes me nervous for the what then. But I must remember that the process is just as important if not more than the end result. Being open and honest about myself is very important to me. This isn't meant as a bragging board. Its more like an accountability forum. I do hope it motivates someone else to make any necessary changes in their lives.


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Marathon training week 16 and Coyote creek trail run

To say that this was a challenging week would be a huge understatement. On Monday I woke up with puffy eyes and a massive sinus headache. Another sinus infection! Boo :( Luckily this time I was able to bypass the antibiotics by just upping my home remedies which consist of essential oils, saline rinses, soups and sudafed. By Thursday I was feeling almost back to normal. Also this week I had plantar pain on my right foot and shooting pain on my left ankle. Rolling, icing, and stretching seemed to help, as well as yoga. On Friday I had a tummy bug that had me wondering if I would be able to do my 20 mile run on Saturday. Fortunately I had just ordered oregano oil and probiotics from vitacost and I received them in the morning. I started taking them right away. I also made a big pot of chicken soup and had 2 big bowls for dinner. The combination of those three things seemed to do the trick. I was up the next day at 5am with no aches, pains, or discomforts to speak of. I was very grateful!

Yesterday's run was fantastic! Hard to put into words the majestic views we encountered and the multitude of emotions that ran through my body in the 5.5hrs it took for us to finish. This is by far one of the toughest runs I've done in a while but also one of the most scenic. I share pictures below but first I want to give this week's stats (planned vs actual)

Sunday: 5 miles
Monday: 10 miles / 1.5 mile warm up plus 8 x 800
Tuesday: 5 miles / 6.25
Wednesday: 8x 800 / 40 min tempo
Thursday: off
Friday: 10 miles race pace/ 7 miles near race pace, 3 miles at race pace
Saturday: 20 mile run/ 20 mile hike/run on hilly rough course

Total mileage planned: 57
Actual miles: 55


























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Marathon training week 15

I read an article this week about the importance of knowing the training level at which one's body begins to break down. I had never pushed this far but I have finally learned what that is for me. From Friday to Wednesday I ran a total of 56 miles with no rest days in between. By Wednesday my body felt broken down, achy, and lethargic. A level beyond 50 miles a week will likely put me in injury prone territory so I need to beware. I can of course push little by little to increase this threshold, the same way one would increase weekly mileage, but I need to do it with great caution, especially a month before my race.

Another realization I made this week is that my blood sugar is still sensitive to what I eat as my first meal. Protein is essential for my body in the mornings as well as limiting my carb intake. This is tricky when I'm needing the extra fuel for my runs. I've observed that my body has become more efficient burning stored calories (ie, glycogen and fat) so I don't really need a huge meal in the mornings. When I begin my day with protein and little to no carbs my blood sugar is stable all throughout the day. Otherwise I get hypoglycemia and mood swings as well as higher levels of cortisol, since insulin drives this hormone. Cortisol is no good for this mama :/

This week's stats (planned and actual)

Monday: 6 miles/10 miles (too much cortisol!)
Tuesday: 5 miles/6.5 miles (3 running and 3 on stair master) plus lunges and weights.
Wednesday: 45 minute tempo run
Thursday: off
Friday: 6 mile run
Saturday: 12 miles /10 miles (ran at gym, it was a sauna in there, I overheated and quit too soon.
Sunday: 5 miles

Miles planned: 37
Actual miles: 42.5

This coming week will be my last and most intensive training week before my taper. I'm running a 20 mile trail run on Saturday with lots of hills. I'm also doing a 10 mile pace run on Friday and speed work during the week. I pray that my body holds up well.
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Marathon training week 14

Nothing like running through beautiful San Francisco in great company to bring someone's spirit up. I had a great run this morning and I'm still riding the high. I never take our gorgeous city for granted, with its picturesque landmarks and lively communities, including its colorful diversity of people. Today was an especially warm and clear day and we took in wonderful vistas of the bridge the city and beyond.

This week's workouts looked daunting on paper but to my amazement were easier on my body than I expected. I'm beginning to reap the benefits of my training. Both my pace and stamina have improved. I also realized that I'm burning through shoes and I desperately need a new pair...or do I? I alternate between two pairs but one is so worn out I can almost feel the pavement on my big toe. But, they are the most comfortable pair of the two and I have no pain or injuries...yet! I think I'm just going to wait and see if Santa drops off a pair under my tree again ;)

This week's stats:

Monday: 10 mile run, with a stroller and a 30lb babe :)
Tuesday: 8 x hill repeats plus evening yoga
Wednesday: 5 mile run
Thursday: off
Friday: 10 mile, 8 at race pace
Saturday: 20 mile run (woo hoo!)
Sunday: 6 mile run (planned)

Total mileage: 56


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Marathon training week 13

The training plan I follow has me go full intensity one week and scale back the following to allow for sufficient recovery. Thankfully this was an easy week since we had so much going on, plus birthday celebrations and such. Again, I will juxtapose planned vs. actual for comparison.

Sunday: 4 miles / rest
Monday: 6 miles / 3 miles plus 7 x 800s plus cables
Tuesday: 5 miles / 6 miles
Wednesday: 7 x 800s / 30 minute run plus 30 minute stair master, walking lunges and bar bell work
Thursday: off
Friday: 6 miles / 12 miles close to race pace
Saturday: 12 miles / off
Sunday: 4 miles / 12 miles

Total mileage planned: 38
Actual miles: 44

No yoga this week :(


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Marathon training week 12

Flexibility remains the theme of my training. This week my body showed signs of overtraining (elevated heart rate, dizziness upon rising, fatigue) so I decided to scale back the intensity. By the end of the week I noticed my energy return to normal levels and the dizziness disappear. It's important to be in tune with ones body.

This week scheduled vs. actual

Mon: 10 miles / 7 miles plus 20 mins n cables
Tues: 5 miles / 4 miles easy run plus evening yoga
Wed: 45 minute tempo / 45 min tempo
Thur: off
Fri: 10 mile run / 15 mile run close to race pace
Sat: 20 mile run/ 14 mile run on hilly route plus gentle yoga
Sun: 4 mile run / rest

Total mileage: 45


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Marathon training week 11

This was an unusual week for me. I stuck to my training plan almost to perfection. I am both relieved this week is done and content with my progress so far. I almost skipped my long run due to a head cold but I loaded up on vitamin c, echinacea and probiotics and pushed through. I'm glad I did.

This weeks stats:

Sunday: 4 mile jog (add in children, a donut run and some dirt trail exploration and its a fun Sunday run)

Monday: 9 mile run plus weights (great workout!)

Tuesday: 3 mile run (easy, drop off run)

Wednesday: 6 x 800s and evening yoga(!)

Thursday: off

Friday: 9 mile modified tempo run

Saturday: 19 miles (*I ran the first 13 under 2 hours. Not shabby for a long run. I can tell my comfortable long run pace is getting faster. Coconut water was good hydration)

Total mileage: 49


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Marathon training week 10

Our family, like many others, is in full back to school transition mode. I thrive on schedules and routines and I'm challenged by unpredictables. But I love spontaneity, go figure. Anyway, the point is that our schedules are slowly falling back into place but there are still a few pending issues: Staggered reading schedule for Isaac, the possibility of getting into a dual immersion program at a different school and all the decisions that come with that, and of course, the inevitable extra curricular activities. Who would have thought that a 5 and 2 year old could have such full lives? I'm trying to roll with the punches but truth be told, I just want the final draft. STAT!

I'm trying to stick closely to my training schedule but I've been flexible to some extent. Here is how this week played out:

Sunday: Rest (I should have run 3 miles here)
Monday: Holiday--extra rest day for me. Yay! (I should have done 9m here)
Tuesday: 6 x hill plus an additional 4 mile run and evening yoga (yay!) --I made up for my missed 9 mile run and added some hill work which was not part of this week's workout.
Wednesday: 6 x 800s plus 30 minutes on the cables (strength training) and walking lunges.
Thursday: off
Friday: 6 mile tempo run plus 4 miles to and from school run.
Saturday: 13 miles, easy run, some walking.

Overall a good week. I got my yoga in and a day of strength training. Next weekend run jumps to 19 miles so I need to gear up for that.

Total mileage: 35 miles (still not counting walking to school)




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Marathon training week 9

I took all of last week off from running. We were on vacation and I wanted to give my body a break. I've been training on and off for the last two years and my body is starting to take a toll. I notice that it takes longer for my body to recover after long runs, so I allow myself more resting time in between workouts and I take a week off at least every six months.

Getting back into full training mode after a week of lounging around is no easy feat. But fighting a sinus infection on top of it is really hard, so this week's workouts were tough. I still managed to get my mileage in but I ran slower than usual and I also took many walking breaks. I only lifted weights one day when I normally do two or three. I also skipped yoga because my equilibrium was off and I found it difficult to put my head down due to the sinus infection. I'm still pleased with this week's results because I did what I could.

Here are this week's stats:

Monday: 6 x 800s--5 miles
Tuesday: 4 mile run plus upper body workout
Wednesday: 50 min modified tempo (long intervals)--6 miles
Thursday: off
Friday: 7 mile run
Saturday: 17 mile run

Total mileage: 39 miles

I'm not counting walking to and from Isaac's school everyday which adds about 4 miles everyday. Not sure if I should be accounting for this but if I did I would be adding 20 miles a week(!) I need to look into it.






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Marathon training week 8

Total miles logged...........................0.

On vacation! :)


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Marathon training - Week 5 - shaking things up a bit

Training can at times be monotonous, so it is important to change things up a bit to keep the motivation up. An added bonus is that we challenge our bodies to work different muscles which is essential for building endurance and for injury prevention.

This week Isaac had vacation bible camp so I had a bit of flexibility for training. I was able to add one day of hill training thanks to the help of my awesome friend Indira.

Here is this week's stats:

Monday: 6 x 800s plus 40 mins of weight training and walking lunges. I was sore from this workout for the rest of the week. I hadn't worked on the machines for a while and my upper arms were jolted. Miles run: 5.

Tuesday: 5 x hill repeats. I started pushing the stroller with 2 babes and soon realized I was going to have to walk, a lot! I haven't done much hill training so I was very winded and slow. Fortunately a friend joined me and offered to push the stroller for me. Tough workout! I ran a total of 9 miles on this day but I incorporated park playtime, bike ride for Isaac, friendly conversations and a little bit of shopping. A well rounded day indeed.

Wednesday: I was amazed how fast my body recovered. I didn't have high expectations for this workout given my last two but I did a 2 mile tempo run plus a 50 min boot camp class which is high intervals of cardio alternated with weight training and core exercises.

Thursday: Off (yippee!)

Friday: My training plan has me do a "short" fast run on Fridays (5-10 miles) followed by a long run on Saturdays. This week I decided to do something very unconventional. On Friday I ran a total of 13 miles, 10 of which were at race pace (8:20 min mile) and the last 3 at near race pace (8:30 min mile). I ran this distance in a little under 2 hours with a couple breaks in between. I was elated.

Saturday: 8 miles, slow but in great company.

Total mileage: 37 miles

Coming up this weekend I am running a 25k in Angel Island with my awesome cousin, a birthday celebration for her. I'm very excited about it. I hope to capture some nice photos and share them here.

Have a great week!


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She is at it again!

Like childbirth pain, marathon training torture is quickly forgotten. A few short months after the "why do I keep doing this to myself?" reality check, we start getting itchy and looking around for the next event. At the time we sign up we are so stoked and filled with images of muscular legs crossing through the finish line, that we forget how much discipline, dedication, and sacrifice training really is. Sigh.

I'm running the Santa Barbara International marathon on November 8th. I started my official training 5 weeks ago and this weekend I ran 13 miles. Half way right? I wish. This is just the beginning. From here on it gets tough, very tough. Unfortunately I'm not one of those incredible people who wing marathons. I believe in hard core training. And it's not just the weekend long runs. This is what my weekly workouts look like:

Monday: 5 x 800 (800 meters ran one minute faster than race pace which for me is 7:20 minute miles) plus strength training.
Tuesday: 6 mile run
Wednesday: 40 minute tempo run (in a tempo run one increases speed gradually until reaching close to 800m pace and then gradually decreases it back to starting) plus strength training
Thursday: Off (yay!)
Friday: 6 miles race pace
Saturday: 13 miles
Sunday: 4 mile run plus yoga

Mileage and intensity increases weekly. I haven't been able to do hill work but I will need to add that too. This week my body felt tired, very tired. I napped almost everyday (thank God for Summer vacation!). I'm also sleeping more at night which helps my body recover. I'm more focused on nutrition, getting proper fuel pre and post workouts and making sure I hydrate enough. All the while I'm working to lose 9lbs (I've already lost 9!). And it's tough eating less when I'm exercising more. I'm also more mindful of my alcohol consumption, especially before my runs. I'm committing myself to this training so I want to do the very best I can.

I will be reporting on my weekly runs for those who care to follow. I'm currently working on 2 major goals:

1) increase speed (hence all the speed work and the weight loss goal)
2) remain injury free

This is currently my favorite post long run snack. Happy weekend everyone!




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Moving on

I thank God for a wonderful breastfeeding relationship with both my children. I was blessed to have abundant supply and few delivery issues. Isaac weaned himself at 13 months and I gently weaned Andrea (2.5yrs) over a period of six months. We were down to one nursing a day and this week we dropped it. I believe she saw it coming and was understanding. I hugged her, looked her in the eyes and said: Andrea, you are a big girl and mama loves you very much. "Boo-be" is all done. She smiled, said "Nah" but didn't fight back. We embraced and she hasn't asked since. I was ready and I believe she was too.

We are officially on to a new stage... Seeking independence and wanting to do everything her brother does.









And realizing that many things are out of our control




But life is very exciting! I'm loving being your side kick Andrea :)


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Good bye Jeans

I have made the decision to retire my jeans. Along with a bikini, blue eye shadow and navel piercingly, some things aren't meant to be forever. I am not making this choice out of a moment of frustration after a 20 minute battle with the zipper. Quite the contrary. I make this decision when my favorite size 2 Lucky jeans fit better than ever (thank you squats!).

I never really liked jeans. I got on board with the trend because I felt like I had to. Slacks and skirts were too dressy and sweats and shorts too casual. Dave is a jean lover so every time we went out he felt underdressed. So I caved. I found a great pair of jeans that I've owned for 6 years. Yes I only have one pair. I wore them out of necessity but I never felt quite comfortable in them. I never felt feminine or sexy either. And I questioned that they were ever appropriate attire for anything. After kids my body took a different shape and I liked them even less.

I held on to them out of spite. I wanted so desperately to fit back into them, I felt like a failure if I didn't. I cried when I looked at them yearning for my pre pregnancy body. I hated having them as an "option" to wear because they really weren't. Even when they zipped I felt like an overstuffed sausage in them. And yet, I was still determined to get back in them. And I did. And now I can happily let them go.

Good bye blue jeans! You were never meant for me.

Skirt lover

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20 years

This Summer marks the 20th anniversary of my running journey. I will spare you the math but I have easily covered over 20,000 miles of terrain and I'm not stopping anytime soon.

Here is how it all began...

I was an active child, always riding my bike, playing with the street kids and involving myself in many informal games of volleyball, basketball, tag, or whatever else was the hype du jour. I also enjoyed dancing and jumping rope. But running just to run? Not so much. Boring? Well, lets just say that my streets weren't exactly running friendly (small sidewalks and streets covered with rocks). We did plenty of running, we just didn't call it that. My parents always modeled active lifestyles and we all seemed to enjoy the physical and social aspects of exercise.

The Summer before my senior year in high school I was struggling with body image. Hormones and mom's cooking played a double on my weight and though I wasn't really overweight, I didn't feel good about myself. I tried unsuccessfully to cut my calories but I ended up eating too much of what I now know where the wrong foods: low fat, high carb foods and tons of fruit. There was also a lot going on in the home realm: Transitions, school and work demands, sister marrying, parents separating, etc. I have always loved food but I did a fair amount of comfort eating. Food became a control factor and my weight the scapegoat to my home problems.

One hot Summer morning my mom walked into our small and steaming hot living quarters and told me that I should go for a run. I laughed. I was already sweating, what more did she want? But she told me that a friend of mine (Maria) was at the school track every morning running laps. I should join her, she suggested. I didn't immediately but eventually I did. We ran laps together and developed a very close relationship. I continued to run throughout the Summer and by Fall I joined the cross country team. I loved running. Well, I loved the feeling after a good run but I didn't exactly enjoy running. Running has a long enjoyment curve. Side stabbing pain and difficulty breathing are just two of the many ills of the sport. I stuck with it. I was the worst runner in the team, a very humbling experience, but I was part of the team.

Running helped me cope with the many pressures of school and home life. I ran in 100 degree weather, in the rain, I passed out twice while running, I came in last, almost always, but it was mine and I didn't do it for anyone. I joined track and field in the Spring almost by default because everyone in the CC team did. It was tough. I wasn't fast but I endured so I ran the 800, mile and 2 miles. By this time I had started to enjoy running. The body ailments were getting better, I had dropped weight which helped my speed, and my friends were very encouraging. I loved the experience. I even ran on weekends by myself. I discovered my determination and my strength through running. I gained confidence. I wasn't about to stop.

The following 5 years were dark, very dark. After graduation I fell into a serious clinical depression that almost took my life. I only survived because I knew that my mom and sister depended on me. I worked a lot, slept little and coped with my mysery by engaging in destructive binge eating behaviors. I don't want to share details. It still hurts. I didn't run much during these years. Arrhythmia, anemia, and low blood pressure kept me away from the sport. I rode my bike a lot because it was my only method of transportation between jobs (I had 3 at the time). But I didn't feel or look healthy. Faith and prayers kept me going.

The turn of the century brought many changes. I got fired from one of my jobs and was forced to find a different type of employment. I got a car and a desk job and I was suddenly faced with a lot of time in my hands (the desk job payed more than my other 3 gigs together). I began running again. I ran in my lunch break, after work, on weekends, and whenever else I could. It was my escape. Life at home was still challenging so a run was always the perfect excuse to escape. I also began frequenting night clubs, just to dance. A friend of mine and I partnered up (no romantic attachment) and we opened and closed the dance floor every single time. Neither of us drank so it was cheap to go. Often we got in for free as well. Running and dancing helped me jump start my recovery.

On New Years Eve of 2001 I met Dave while visiting in San Francisco. I was a different person by then, confident, healthy, and independent. He fell in love with all of that, and I fell in love with him too. We were married a year later. I moved to the Bay Area after our wedding and got another desk job within weeks of moving. I continued to run during lunch breaks, after work or whenever I could. Dave and I also enjoyed hiking together and we did it regularly. We have proudly conquered the tallest peaks in the contiguous US. Running gave me the base conditioning for our long hikes.

In 2008 Dave and I ran the SF marathon together, his idea. We trained in 4 months and the non-runner husband of mine out ran me on race day. He hung his shoes after that event but I continued to run. I ran through both my pregnancies, completed a half marathon at 5 months pregnant and a full marathon at 8 months post partum. A month ago I ran my first long trail run, a 30k and finished 2nd in my age division. I'm training to improve my speed so I can someday qualify for Boston. Running is where I find myself, where I draw my confidence, and where I gain valuable life lessons. I hope to pass this gift onto my children.

Happy 20 years!




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My heritage

I was invited to a birthday celebration yesterday for a dear Friend who is also Mexican. I haven't had so much fun in a while. It made me realize how much I miss my family and our own celebrations. This party made me feel right at home and for that I am very thankful. I was surrounded by women who discussed child rearing quirks in a Mexican family; women who weren't afraid to be loud and boisterous after a few drinks; strong women with opinions and attitudes. And no one was judging. I haven't had this feeling in a long while and it was awesome!

Some of the best memories I have of family are of being all together, singing, playing guitars, dancing, laughing, and enjoying each others company. This could go on until the late hours of the night and no one seemed to mind. Food was always abundant and tequila (or wine for me) helped everyone lose their inhibitions so even the non dancers danced, the not talkative gave great speeches and the stoic showed a bit of emotion. That's what I call a good party. No regrets. Ever.

I don't get to enjoy these family gatherings very often. In fact, our family rarely gets together anymore, which is sad, but such is the course of life. So I yearn for time with them again, to be together, to enjoy their presence, to learn from them, to be annoyed by their all too familiar characteristics. I hope that my children grow to love this part of their heritage, but I fear that we are much detached from it so they will never appreciate it the way I do. But I am motivated to expose them whenever possible so that they can decide for themselves. What's not to love about being Mexican :)


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The life of a mama

Before I had children I didn't know.. (You may fill in your own blanks)

Anything about myself
I still don't (know anything I mean)
I could have so much and so little patience
I had so much pent up anger
How to enjoy life
And hate it at times
How much emotions scare me
How emotional I can be
How much I value silence
How much I love my children's laughter
That I hate drawn out exits
That my children have their own timeline
That I need lots of personal space
That I love cuddling
That my confidence would soar
That guilt would overshadow it
That my life could be so full
And yet so lonely
That I could love so much
And gain so much
If I could just relax and enjoy the ride...







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2014 Cinderella Trail Run (Mothers Day)

Race recap: Read bullets for summary, a more descriptive translation follows

Favorite things about this race (in order of priority):

1. Location--30 minute drive from my house
2. Course! The course travels through beautiful Joaquin Miller Park to Redwood Regional Park with spectacular views of the Oakland Hills and Bay Area along the way.
3. Cost--$50 for a 30k, cheapest race I've done so far and best served. Hello hamburgers and beer at the finish!
4. Challenge--Trail running is NOT the same as road running and this was my first longish trail run.
5. Date--Perfect excuse for being gone for the first part of the day. Great weather!

Things I would have done differently:

1. Different shoes--I decided to wear my oldest and most worn out running shoes...bad idea! I knew after eating dirt on the first downhill that I was ill-fitted for this run. Trail running shoes are a must!

2. Less ambitious goals--being my first long trail run I should have signed up for the half marathon not the 30k.

3. More downhill training, on trails, not roads--think running uphill is hard? Try running downhill on a trail and see how fast your face lands on the gravel.

Ok, so now for the interested I'm going to provide the most detailed description I can. My brain is still foggy so I may miss a few things but I will do my best.

The race started at 8am sharp. Check in was a breeze, there were plenty of volunteers and a small crowd (a nice plus of trail races, they can be small).

We tackled our first set of hills and my legs thanked me for having done hilI training. I started passing a few runners, some men, and I was able to actually run the uphills (in trail running many runners walk the uphills). By mile 4 I hit my first major downhill and I ate dirt. Yes sir I did. I got up gracefully and decided I was going to walk the downhills, very carefully, if I wanted to finish this race alive. You see, I chose the wrong shoes because I didn't want to ruin my new pair in the mud. Wrong! I should have chosen safety over vanity...oh well.

I remembered from the map that mile 8 was the beginning of the steepest hill so at around mile 7 I ate/drank/swallowed my first gel. Good choice! Check out that hill...woo hoo!





It was a killer! And I ran most of it, slowly. During this stretch I "teamed up" with a group of runners who would zoom by me on the down hills, and then I would catch up on the uphills. Yes it was a huge boost of confidence.

By about mile 12 and with just a little over a mile to go I contemplated stopping at the half marathon mark. It was way too tempting and I dwelled on this thought for a while, but I didn't. I passed the "finish" line and I kept going for the rest of my 5 miles. For a moment I thought I was lost. No runners in sight so I retraced my steps about 500 yards until I met up with some ultra marathoners (crazy people!) who assured me I was on the right path. So I added about a mile to my course, oh well.

The last 5 miles weren't too bad. My right knee was angry but my stamina strong. My legs were ultra wobbly so I slowed down the pace (better shoes would have been nice here!). 2.5 miles to go and I thought: Lucia, you got this. Enjoy the rest. And I did. I finished in 3 hours and 52 minutes, and I came in second for my age category. It was a small race so no huge bragging points here but I felt great!

Last thoughts:

I'm hooked on trail running
Trail races are "chilled." They are mostly on an honor system. There is plenty of opportunity to cheat on your distance, but you only cheat yourself.
I like running with people but I also enjoy running alone--a lot! :)
Need to train on trails. Even though I've done some hill training, my stride is conditioned for roads. I've learned to "glide" when I run and this is it good for trail running.
I like points to point races. There is psychological defeat when I have to repeat the same course twice.
No, I didn't have a hamburger, or a beer, but it was nice that they were available.

See you next year!

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Spring cleaning of the soul

It's Holy Week and I have the need to download some stuff that's been weighing heavily on my chest. This Lent has been a bit of a roller coaster in many ways. I can only compare it to a detox. Though I've never done one myself, I hear of people saying that it really gets worse before it gets better, the body that is. You undergo a period of severe flu like symptoms that lasts for weeks. You can barely get out of bed and the mere sight of light peeking through the window blinds you. Your body feels inflamed and everything takes so much effort to do. You cant eat anything and you feel bloated. All.the.time. Sounds fun? No, not ever. My question: Why?

When a person undergoes a detox, toxins that were "dormant" or happily inhabiting cell walls or fatty tissues are suddenly woken up and flushed through the blood stream or digestive system. Think about a sudden downpour of acid rain to your insides. Nice huh? Sometimes it is almost better to let those suckers be, especially the heavy ones (mercury, lead, cadmium, etc). But rest assured, not really, that a tiny trigger could fire them up and turn them into say, cancer? That's right! There is the incentive.

What's an individual to do? Well, I'm not a doctor or trained holistic guru but my instinct tells me that toxins don't belong in our bodies. Period. The fact that we are exposed to hundreds of chemicals on a daily basis (thousands if you are a woman) is scary enough, but we mustn't be discouraged. A slow drip can cut trough stone. Yes, little changes matter and anything we can do to rid ourselves of what doesn't belong is in order. I do a daily maintenance of the body by choosing natural products and pesticide free foods. Also by consuming natural chelators that help my body get rid of toxins. It's enough that I don't notice any effects but I know that in the long run my body will thank me.

So how does this relate to Lent? Well...up until a few months ago I would have described my faith as lukewarm at best. And this is something that manifested itself in the direction my life was taking, or not taking at all. I lived in a state of chronic anxiety, preoccupied with many things and not being able to find joy in anything. Depressed too. I decided I was ready for change, and so began my daily maintenance. Baby steps. I began to see progress. My anxiety levels dropped (!?) for the first time in years. I was able to find joy in "being" rather than "doing." Heck I even started to ease into my motherhood role feeling it as the true vocation it is. And then Lent happened. And my detox started...

Bipolar, yes, that would be a good description of how I feel. One moment all is great the next I want to pack my bags and call it a day. If I didn't have faith I would dive deeply into the abyss of depression that lurks all too close, all too often. I get discouraged at times but I never lose faith. Funny how that happens. Somehow I know (maybe its the long distance runner in me) that I will see this to the end and I will be a better person for it. In all the turmoil there is something that remains stronger than ever: my connection with the creator and my ardent need of his presence in my life. So there is proof that this detox is working :)

Happy Easter!


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This week

Yesterday was a whirlwind kind of day. In terms of birthday ideals I'd say it had a low score on the joy scale. I hope it's not representative of birthdays to come for my little peanut. I think we are all looking forward to the end of this week. It's been challenging, emotional, and exhausting. On Sunday we will be celebrating Andreas 2nd birthday so I hope we will all be in better moods then.

I'm not personally big on birthdays, but I get into it if it makes someone else's day. My husband and son love their birthdays. Isaac is already planning his 5th birthday in July and Dave is always secretly checking the bank statement for any surprise gifts. It's fun and exciting, all the planning and anticipation. I get into it and take simple tasks such as baking a cake very seriously. After all, isn't it all about the cake?

Andrea is 2! Yes it is cliche but can you believe it? I don't have a baby anymore. My nursing days will soon be over and I'm starting to miss them. I am embracing newfound independence though I could do without the temper tantrums. The last few weeks have been marked by an unprecedented language and intellectual explosion in this little one. Witnessing such change brings me closer to God our creator.

Today is Valentines Day, not a big deal in this household either. I don't feel like it but I'm going to make some treats for my family. I know they will appreciate them and just maybe bring a smile to my honey who has had the toughest week of all of us. Showing kindness has a double benefits, I too am in need of love. So that's what I will do today.

Happy Valentines Day!






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The workings of God in my life

2013 was for me a year of tilling, preparing my soil for Gods plan in my life. I spent a significant amount of time soul searching, connecting, and seeking spiritual advice. There were moments when I got frustrated and I complained, perhaps a bit too much, but in doing so I gained the confidence of some amazing women I am now blessed to call friends.

2014 will be a seeding year. I will continue to work diligently on my soil giving it the best care possible, and of course filling it with fertile seed. So far I have done very poorly but everyday is a new beginning. Here I stand armed with optimism and well defined tools that will help me achieve that goal.

2013 was largely about finding joy in my life. 2014 will be about living that joy. To this end I will focus on prayer and intention. And I ask that you too, keep me in your prayers.

Thank you!

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A year in review (2013)

We began welcoming the new year with good friends. We are very blessed to live in this city, and to have found a special group of people we now call friends. Our children are growing up together and building tightly-knit bonds. At the end of January Dave and I were honored to be witnesses and Godparents of Evan, son of our very dear friends Dave and Tracy Seeger. We also started a date night trading system with a couple, friends of ours. It has been one of the greatest blessings to our marriage this year.

In February we celebrated Andrea's 1st birthday and Dave's 40th. Isaac took karate lessons and Spanish classes. I stopped singing in the choir because we wanted to attend mass as a family and the children were getting to be (and still are) very active in church. It is a team effort to keep them quiet and somewhat engaged. I began to actively pursue a bible study group and continued to participate through the end of the year. This was perhaps the most life changing experience for me this year. We sought the expertise of a child development specialist to help us out with sibling rivalry issues which peaked around Andreas first birthday.

In March we celebrated Easter. One of the perks of a Christian preschool is that Easter is a big deal. Isaac learned about our Lords death and resurrection, and his love for us. We attended our parish night out where we got to meet and socialize with new members, and we started Isaac in swimming lessons. I ran the Shamrock 5k in Dublin for the second year with Isaac in a stroller.

April was a rather quiet month with regular routine, school, play dates, workouts, and bible study. On April 19th, Dave took Isaac to a Giants game and they both enjoyed it a lot. On the 20th Indira and I hiked to the top of Mt. Diablo. It was quite the adventure if you know my sense of direction. On April 28th I ran the dipsea trail practice run. It was an amazing experience and one I hope to repeat next year.

In May I ran the Pleasanton half marathon. I also attended a Mothers Day tea ceremony and helped organize a Mothers Day family picnic. It was a lot of fun! This month we began having car problems and I was riding my bike everywhere. It was a nice change of pace and I discovered a very extensive connection of trails around our house.

June was the beginning of our Summer break. As I look through my personal calendar I notice the entries were scarce which probably means I was busy entertaining the kids. We spent a lot of time outdoors, biking, riding scooters, playing in parks and swimming in pools. We camped in Big Sur for 3 nights and had a wonderful time playing in the dirt, building fires, and hiking to the beach. I ran the See Jane Run half marathon in Alameda for a friend, and we began attending the Friday concerts in the park. We hosted a Fathers Day BBQ dinner at our house and got to celebrate with special friends.

We spent the 4th of July holiday with my family and friends in Southern California. On July 7th we celebrated Isaac's 4th birthday with many friends at the Livermore pool. We signed up for a CSA with a local farm and I got to volunteer a few times for harvest. Towards the end of the month my sister in law was baptized and we were very honored to attend her ceremony.

In early August we camped in Sequoia National Park, my niece and her boyfriend joined us. It was a great time all around. In the following weeks we spent most of our time enjoying the last of the Summer freedom. We went to the movies, the zoo, we hiked and played in various parks and open spaces, and we got to spend time with friends.

On September 7th I participated in a fundraiser run for human trafficking with my sister in law and her family. School resumed for Isaac on the 9th and our schedules changed once again. We continued with our workouts, date nights, and swim lessons and we added various school related activities. September was my celebration of life and I welcomed my 36th by cooking a 6 course raw vegan tasting dinner for friends. It was a memorable night indeed.

October brought about a certain crispness to the air, cooler weather and warm feelings about the nearing holidays. We took a last minute trip to Southern California and visited LegoLand and SeaWorld. We took the train from Santa Barbara to San Diego. The kids loved it and so did we. On the 26th I ran the Healdsburg half marathon, my golden run of the year. I almost didn't make it due to a sudden neck injury but I ended up scoring a PR and a crazy determination to run the LA marathon in March of 2014. We had a very fun Halloween. The kids got into the spirit of it and so did we.

November was a very busy month for us, both with social engagements and commitments. We celebrated Thanksgiving with my father in law. After that I began to slow down a bit and let my body and mind relax. I began an 18 week advanced training for LA and I'm noticing improvements in my stamina and strength.

December came and went too fast! We attended various social functions including our yearly MOMS cookie exchange, a holiday party hosted by a new friend, our church's holiday concert, Isaac's school Christmas performance, the SF symphony with the kids, and of course my sister in laws Christmas Eve dinner. After Christmas we drove to LA and spent a week, including New Years with family and friends.

A very blessed year indeed!




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